Moving on from what I've shared with you previously, i'll be sharing about WHEN.
When, generally, to display certain levels of Sugar and Salt.
We would need to study our atmosphere, our environment, the social setting that we're in.
In other words, reading behavioral patterns and the social cues, and being aware of how and when to react accordingly, to a certain person or event brought across to you.
Let's go with the Salt interactive situation(s) first, because it's more fun and common.
By the way, these are real life situations that happened to me. So...have fun reading!
SITUATION 1 (SALT):
For some reason, your friend has been drifting in and out of a rather toxic and draining relationship (could also be with friends, peers, colleagues, employers and family, not necessarily romantic partners).
It has been taking both a mental and physical toll on her for several months now (in some cases, it may even take years).
And after these months, you're beginning to despair for your own welfare and sanity every time she spills, laments, asks for help or advice (even if you don't really have prior or sufficient experience), and breaks down frequently to you, physically and over the phone.
How would you eventually choose to react?
(a) Out of empathy and moral integrity, you choose to overlook your own emotions, continue to tolerate and be a supportive advisor in her life
(b) Try to keep both logically and emotionally balanced, be very frank about things and share your personal opinions. If she eventually fails to take up your help despite numerous attempts, assess how the nature of your relationship with her has been since you've known each other, and only resort to cutting all ties and erasing her from your life completely if you know that she didn't see you as a friend, and is only using you repeatedly to her own benefit, rather than trying to grow mutually and add positive value to your relationship.
Answer: (b)
While looking out for others, we also need to respect ourselves, the nature of our relationships and our boundaries. We may forget, but we can't forsake our happiness just to make other people happy.
We also need to realize that...we can't help everyone. If you have done beyond your usual scope and yet, it's taking a huge, unhealthy toll on you instead, please leave the situation and save yourself immediately. Enough...means enough.
SITUATION 2 (SALT):
It's several months before university enrollment, but you can't seem to make up your mind over whether to take up a job position offered to you, or to accept the offers for a few universities, or to take a shot and to apply for other universities.
You decided to do an analysis and consult a few people over this (teachers, friends, peers, colleagues, family members).
Before consulting, you have a rough idea on what you want, and how each route might benefit you.
During consultation, you received a great amount of sugar and salt for each option. In their ways, they were reasonable, triggering and influencing you in certain ways.
After consulting, you got mixed answers instead, leaving you to be more confused, maybe emotionally and mentally.
It's a major life changing decision that you don't wish to regret. Because when it's gone, you can't retrieve it back.
You start to question your decision, and to evaluate your options.
What will you eventually do?
(a) Accept the offer of a local university, because it seems like that's what most people seem to do (or other underlying reasons). BUT you spend more money, energy and time.
(b) Accept the offer of a foreign university. Great thing is: it's more affordable, and for a shorter SPAN. BUT you might not be as "recognized" when you apply for work in future.
(c) Accept the internship offer, and forsake 6 months for work, because it's more profitable, and adds valuable experience to your future career. BUT you don't really have a backup plan after that, and might start your degree later than the rest if you choose to go for it.
Answer: No correct answer (although I eventually chose (a)).
There is no right answer, because only you have the right to decide. Yes, all of these people can influence you, but you cannot deny your true capabilities, emotions and opinions.
Only you know, and define, exactly what's right for you.
Social acceptance, costs, reputation, and judgement...shouldn't be taken much into consideration. It's actually more of the value you believe that you will obtain or achieve for the long term from the decisions you make.
Okay, let's move on to Sugar. Thankfully, just one.
SITUATION (SUGAR):
You are going to prepare important slides and documents, and present them in front of your supervisor before an EOY departmental performance meeting the next morning. You would also need to take down meeting minutes as efficiently as possible.
Pretext: You are just a temporary intern, and this is the first official time you ever did any of this for so many important people.
Your colleagues have done their parts, and you just have to chip in a bit for financial analyses and presentation design.
In the day itself, you rushed, successfully completed what your supervisor asked for, and emailed for review to your supervisor just on the dot before rushing to the lift and taking the long ride home.
There was no news about your work.
The next day, you rushed into the room with your colleagues. As the meeting began, you listened attentively, wrote and organized meeting minutes.
Despite the occasional tense atmospheres when performances may not be as good, your colleagues were more light-hearted as they spoke. Thus, you saw this, and decided that it's seems safe for you to chip in a few of your opinions when you would like to.
After the meeting, your supervisor, who you believed was strict and sometimes very intimidated by, turned to you and began to spoke. Your fellow colleagues also chipped in.
What happened?
(a) Surprises you by complimenting you for your performance.
(b) Starts to criticize you for your performance.
(c) Both, but more of Sugar. Compliment you, but also provide areas of improvement.
(d) Both, but more of Salt. Share more negative points than positive points.
Answer: (c)
By offering both, but more of Sugar, you are empowering your fellow colleague, especially if it's their first time. It is not wrong to voice out certain opinions, for they can be valuable.
But please note when to voice them out. If everyone is acting and sounding tense and pessimistic, including your higher ups; and the data is very negative, it might be a bad call for you to share another blow. You may voice out if you really, really feel that what you're proposing or sharing is relevant and valuable to the discussed issue,
It is also right to be honest about what your colleague can improve on, while applauding him or her for the work they have done, especially for the first time.
This allows them to stay curious about things, to find the drive to learn more effectively and efficiently, and to grow their ambition or desire to improve, and to contribute to, their work performance and to the company.
PS: Hope you enjoyed reading what i've shared! I thought of this on the go, although I also planned and imagined along the way. Yes, the way that your author decides to function is a little odd.
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